#is there a difference between watching and seeing

[slvttyplum]

nanami didn't believe in "tapping out." it messed up his flow, and in the end he was stuck with a hard dick. with you, it was completely different. he encouraged you to take all of him just so you could tap out.

he didn't know why it aroused him, but he loved how confident you got every time he was in between your legs, stuffing you deep with his dick, kissing him, and tonguing him down just to be moaning helplessly in his mouth the next minute.

the human body is sensitive, but yours was especially sensitive to his touch. one graze over your nipple and your body was squirming from pleasure; he loved it, all of it, and he was never going to get tired of seeing it.

your legs wrapped around his waist tightly and stuck in the same position because of how overpowered your body was with pleasure. he loved eyeing down your body and watching every single movement, giving him even more reason to fuck you slow and deep.

the both of you had the "three slaps" rule; three slaps on the mattress in a row meant that you were done, and of course this rule only applied to you.

nanami was never truly done. if it were up to him, he would have you in so many positions by sunrise, but you could only take so much, and he was okay with that. as long as you tapped out with three slaps, he would be done.

it was almost like a surrender; that's why he was so turned on by it, telling him that your body had enough of his dick. trying your hardest to keep going, but your body gave up so easily.

like a safe word, but instead of words, you used your body instead. he loved the idea; you weren't good with words or remembering them when you were getting overstimulated by his dick repeatedly sliding in and out of you.

he loved every part about your body not holding up to his dick stretching you out. his eyes locked on yours as you held out your moans and tried to keep your body from a full reaction, but it never worked. nanami's eyes were scanning your body for it.

at the end of the day, his goal was to give you a lot of pleasure, and he achieved it every time, but a little teasing in bed didn't hurt.

[misswynters]

Scientific purposes

drabble

featuring. viktor x reader

warnings. suggestive, kissing in the council room

requested. @pinklunarprincess

In council chambers which were dimly lit, the last vestiges of daylight filtering through the tall, arched windows. The air carried the faint scent of ink and parchment, mingling with the lingering tension of earlier debates. You remained seated at the head of the long mahogany table, meticulously reviewing the day’s proposals when Viktor entered. He moved quietly, his mechanical brace clicking softly against the polished floor. His golden eyes lingered on you longer than necessary, an unreadable expression flickering across his face. This wasn’t his first visit today. He had come by twice already under the guise of needing your counsel. But this time, his intent seemed different, and the way he locked the door behind him sent a spark of anticipation down your spine.

“I see you’ve returned,” you remarked without looking up, your tone laced with playful exasperation. “What pressing matter is it this time, Viktor?”

He hesitated, his hands clasped behind his back. “There are… complexities in the hextech approval process. I thought it best to speak with you directly.” His voice was calm, measured, but the slight tremor betrayed him.

You tilted your head, finally meeting his gaze. The intensity in his eyes was undeniable, and it ignited something within you. “Complexities, hmm? Are you sure this couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Not with you here,” he replied softly, his honesty catching you off guard.

Rising from your seat, you took a slow step toward him, watching as his confidence wavered under your scrutiny. “You seem rather insistent tonight,” you mused, the faintest of smirks tugging at your lips. “Tell me, are these complexities truly about hextech? Or is there something else on your mind?”

His breath hitched as you closed the distance between you. “I—” he began, but the words seemed to catch in his throat. His gaze flickered to your lips, and he took a small step back, his resolve clearly wavering. “It would be improper…”

“Improper?” you echoed, arching an eyebrow. “Since when has that stopped you from seeking what you want?”

Your words left him momentarily speechless, and you could see the war playing out behind his golden eyes. Finally, he drew in a sharp breath, his voice barely above a whisper. “You.”

You closed the remaining distance, your hands finding the lapels of his coat as you pulled him toward the chair at the center of the room. “Sit,” you commanded softly, your tone leaving no room for argument. He obeyed, his movements almost mechanical as he lowered himself into the chair.

Hovering above him, you placed one knee between his legs, your weight barely pressing against him. The intimacy of the position made him tense, his hands gripping the armrests tightly as if anchoring himself. Leaning forward, your lips ghosted over his, your breath mingling with his as you spoke. “You could’ve just said you wanted my attention, Viktor. All this talk of ‘complexities’ wasn’t necessary.”

“I…” He swallowed hard, his hands twitching as though resisting the urge to touch you. “I did not want to—overstep.”

A soft chuckle escaped you as your fingers trailed up his jaw, tilting his face to meet yours. “And yet here we are," you murmured, brushing your lips against his in the faintest of touches.

The kiss deepened quickly, his restraint crumbling as his hands finally moved to rest on your hips. The heat between you was palpable, your bodies pressing closer as the tension that had been building for weeks finally erupted. Viktor's lips were fervent against yours, his usual precision and control giving way to raw need.

You pulled back just enough to catch your breath, your lips brushing against his ear. "You've been driving yourself mad over this, haven't you?"

"Yes," he admitted hoarsely, his voice heavy with desperation. "You... sure are intoxicating."

Your teeth grazed the shell of his ear, drawing a shiver from him as you whispered, "Then let me consume you."

His response was immediate, his hands tightening on your waist as though afraid you might disappear. You could feel his pulse racing beneath your fingertips as you cupped his face, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. There was something beautiful about seeing him like this. Unguarded, vulnerable, and utterly at your mercy.

"You're trembling," you noted, your tone soft but teasing. "Are you nervous, Viktor?"

He managed a faint chuckle, though his voice betrayed him. "You have a way of... unbalancing me."

You smiled, your lips hovering just above his. "Good."

taglist. @xxblairslairxx @diffusebread @ekkosh @ash-84321 @luneariaa @minagrayson @aliives @mammonsleftring @gxrextxgaidk @anna1-1 @bl-0-ndi-3

banner. @anitalenia

[caitlinsnicket]

sevika relationship headcanons

warnings: smut by the end, that's probably it

a/n: i sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

masterlist | 🍉 | ko-fi

She would never tell you this—not in a million years—but something stirs inside her chest whenever she manages to tower over you in any way.

You might be resting against a wall, and she comes by your side to say something, her arm staying just a few inches above your head (and you pretend it doesn’t do something to you deep down). When she realizes how close you are, it’s like a punch to her gut, and she quickly makes some excuse to leave before you notice her dilated pupils.

After the two of you get together, she loves to tease you and make sure you’re aware of the difference between the two of you (pervert). If you ask her about it, she’ll just say she likes how strong it makes her feel. But it’s not just that: it’s how much cleavage she gets to see, how much of your scent she gets to breathe in, and how easy it would be to just throw you over her shoulder and carry you off wherever she pleases.

She won’t ask you outright, but she always pats her lap to invite you to sit on it—whether it’s during one of her games, at a party, or during a meeting to organize something. She wants to have her hands on you at all times, making sure you’re content and pretty.

There are also the quiet moments, when it’s just the two of you and nothing bad is going on. She’ll climb up until she’s almost on Piltover, your hand in hers. She’ll sit down against a pillar, pull you to her until you’re sitting between her knees, her chin resting on the top of your head, lighting up a joint if she feels like it.

She can feel your heart beating against her chest, nothing else happening, and she wonders if this is something she can actually do—something she can actually deserve. But the lights are shining, children are playing and laughing, and you’re almost purring in her arms, so it’s okay.

Even after she’s used to the relationship, she gets flustered when you hold her by her waist, run your hands over it, or simply rest them there. It’s not just the promise of further touches (God knows she loves those), but also the possessiveness she sees in your eyes. It’s different from what she’s used to—not just being needed, but also wanted.

She loves to watch you fuck yourself on her strap, smoking a joint with her mech arm while her other hand plays with your ass.

She’s an active participant as well, but there’s something so thrilling about your desperation and your need for her.

When she eats you out, she always goes overboard, and you end up pulling her hair really hard. She stops what she’s doing and glares at you before telling you to go harder, then dives right back in.

She likes to pull your lips apart just to watch you clench around nothing.

She loses it when you wear those short, skintight skirts that barely cover your ass in public, your eyes making it clear that whatever you’re doing, it’s on purpose.

She sits you down on the stool in front of her, spreads your legs, and fingers you right then and there until you’re clutching her arm for dear life, trying to suppress your moans.

She licks her hand clean before taking you home.

[prickly-paprikash]

Jinx is an extremely touchy person. She wraps around like a coil around the person she loves, no matter what. It's most evident with Silco and her helping him with his daily injection—no matter what, Silco allows his daughter to curl and coil and wrap around him, giving no thought to her embrace. That's his child, why wouldn't he let her barge into his office while he's balancing books and lean against him whenever she feels like it.

We see this with Isha too. And Vi.

We also see this with Powder and Ekko.

In Benzo's workshop, Powder just wraps around Ekko like she belongs in his space. She leans into him, constantly getting in close because Ekko is the central focus of her affections here.

So when Ekko starts showing signs of discomfort around her, and he acts bizarrely throughout the day, she slowly pulls back. When they enter Vander's bar, she's dragging Ekko around without a care. By the end of that scene and as they enter Powder's place, visiting Vi's shrine, Powder has backed off. She knows something's up.

Even when Ekko apologizes with Vi's mural, Powder still knows something's different with Ekko and keeps a respectful distance. With Isha and Silco, and to an extent Warwick and Vi, she likes being in their spaces. Being all up in their faces.

It's when the episode implies that Powder has figured it out, checking through Ekko and Heimerdinger's notes that this Ekko has been pulled in by the Wild Rune from another dimension that she starts to close in just a bit more. She watches him, drinking in the fact that this Ekko is so much like the one she loves, but also so different. So new.

So she starts slow.

Watching him. Giving him her attention. The first time she finally, truly touches him again is when she plucks off Heimerdinger's hair off his face—and Ekko doesn't shy away this time.

We see this as well in the dance. Ekko and Powder, even as the world melts away around them, still have a respectful yet intimate distance between them. They dance around each other, before slowly but surely dancing into each other.

During their talk, Powder finally reclaims her spot beside him. Leaning into him. Breathing him in. And Ekko lets her.

We finally see this dynamic at play once more when Ekko asks her to "pretend like it's the first time."

She knows. She isn't pretending here. She knows she's giving Ekko his first kiss, their first kiss.

Powder has probably wanted to just touch Ekko these past few days, but she knew something was different. And when she watched Ekko leave for his universe, she felt relieved to have her Ekko back, while still cherishing those precious few moments she had with our Ekko, as seen when she tucks away his necklace.

It's such a subtle thing. Unspoken, but extremely prevalent.

[kitsunestudios]

Looks like a lot of 90's kids have the same issue I do in classifying whether the cartoons we watched were "anime" or not, which tracks with my experience of the way anime was marketed over time.

Growing up in Alberta Canada during the 80's, I can remember watching lots of Japanese productions dubbed into English on network television. There was Astroboy (Shin Tetsuwan Atomu), Kimba the White Lion (Janguru Taitei), Fables of the Green Forest (Yama Nezumi Rokkī Chakku), The Jungle book (Janguru Bukku Shōnen Mōguri) and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz (Oz no Mahōtsukai). None of these were treated any differently from other cartoons, which included a lot of syndicated reruns from the 60's. I never got Voltron, Robotech, or Speed Racer on the channels we had, but I knew of them through toy commercials.

Japan was also a major outsourcing and production partner in the 80's, so a lot of the toy-promoting Saturday Morning Cartoons of the Reagan era were in partnership with Japan. Shows like Transformers, Challenge of the Gobots, The Mighty Orbots and Hello Kitty's Furry Tale Theater really blurred the line between US production and anime.

The rise of VHS tape rentals and cable TV also increased the reach of more mature animated content. Earlier mainstream VHS releases often scrubbed the Japanese origins of the films, like Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp (Sekai Meisaku Dōwa: Arajin to mahō no ranpu) and Warriors of the Wind (The Nausicaä hack-job). By the late 80's, there were more avenues to bring in the mature content, like Akira. The same tech that brought the OVA boom to Japan brought awareness of the unique qualities of their cultural output.

By the 90's I started to see more cultural awareness of "Anime" as distinct from North American cartoons. Shows like Pokemon, Digimon, Sailor Moon, Dragonball and Samurai Pizza Cats (my beloved), were still mainstream cartoons on basic cable, but I could also rent things like 3x3 Eyes, Ranma 1/2, The Guyver, Project A-Ko, Ninja Scroll, Ghost in the Shell or Fist of the North Star from the local Blockbuster or Video Spot. This was also the peak of anime clubs and conflicts between subtitles vs. dubs. I think this was the point where being an "Anime fan" had a connotation outside of "watching Sailor Moon and Pokemon", and often involved seeking out content that never made it to the mainstream, often (but not always) for reasons of sex and violence.

By 2000, the marketing hits critical mass with dedicated anime blocks on cable TV channels, and anime after that point is clearly it's own separate thing. While people might argue whether the 4kids version of One Piece is worth watching, no-one really doubts that it counts as anime. By the time steaming became the dominant video platform, anime was easily available, and a distinct marketing category.

That post about death note being "everyone's first anime" (untrue statement) made me curious and now I want to gather data for science

Can you reblog this and tell me where are you from and what was your starter anime?

[fluffylino]

sucking him off

he's tired and he can't seem to sleep. still high on adrenaline so you decide to ease his body...

-contains mature themes (this is very fluffy and hyunjin is so babie)

touring around different countries, across continents and having to perform for 3 hours nearly every two days was exhausting.

watching as hyunjin plops on the bed after reaching the hotel after the macau concert. seungmin and jeongin deciding to go live while hyunjin makes an appearance. staying for some time before he returns back.

sitting on the edge of the bed, quietly watching you cook some instant cup noodles for y'all.

he sniffles, sighing loudly and you can't help but laugh at his almost puppy like behaviour. turning around to see him flat on the bed. laying on his back with his legs spread apart. bathroom slippers hanging off his feet funnily.

"m'tiredddd" he groans, stretching his arms up. rolling his head around in the soft pillow.

bringing his hand down to pat his tummy. making all sorts of disgruntled noises while he lifts his legs up and drops them down. letting out another sigh.

continuing to press his lower abdomen with a firm hand. breathing slowly. he looks so calm, it makes you want to give him the world.

he's exhausted. but he can't fall asleep. adrenaline still rushing in his veins. still hyper from the concert yet too tired to even have energy to get up.

"..jinnie"

you mumble sweetly, deciding to give him something to relax. or maybe you just needed to calm yourself down after seeing him lay down in such a seemingly sexy way.

"mh- MH?!" he hums. going higher in pitch when you sit between his legs.

pressing a kiss to his inner thigh. taking him by surprise. neverthess he stays still, sinking deeper into the mattress. pressing kisses over his covered crotch.

"b-baby" is all he whispers, lifting his hips up for you to tug his tracksuit pants down just enough.

the cardigan he had on, exposing the tank top he was wearing underneath. exhaling as you fiddle with his waistband.

pulling it down to wrap your fingers around his hardening length. never failing to always surprise you with how pretty his dick looked. (i believe hyunjin has the prettiest most beautiful elegant dick and you cannot convince me otherwise)

smiling to yourself at how he pats his stomach in anticipation. cardigan sleeves so long that only the tips of his fingers stick out.

placing a small kiss to the tip, tasting his slick on your lips. so you sweetly circle your tongue over his weeping slit. body tingling with how loved you were feeling.

"m-mh babyyyy"

hyunjin drawls. voice cracking ever so slightly. absolutely strained after singing. you glance up at him. only seeing the underside of his chin and his heaving chest.

sticking your tongue out to lick a long stripe from his base all the way up to his tip. taking him in your mouth with a relieved sigh.

god, you loved thus man so much that you dreamt of doing this just to ease your mind.

"s-shit just like that"

moaning softly. goosebumps rising on his skin when you slide your hand underneath his tank top.

earning a surprised little squeak at your cold fingertips. thoughtlessly you suck on him. eyes closing with the pleasant weight on your tongue. warm and heavy.

breathing out shakily from your nose. his bigger hands sliding on top of yours. interlacing your fingers while you place wet sloppy kisses all over his dick.

looking up to see his chest heave. throwing his head further back and whining.

"cumming! c-cummi..."

hyunjin groans. squeezing your hand. feeling him twitch in your mouth and you take him deeper.

moaning your name sweetly while he cums harder than ever. legs closing around you. arching his back with a long drawn out whine.

you swallow. tasting the thick white slick that fills your mouth. sqeezing his hand reassuringly.

when you do lift your head up. his eyes are struggling to stay open.

making grabby hands at you sleepily.

"hold me, baby"

he whispers, grinning happily when you lay on top of him. kissing him on the cheek.

.

.

.

.

.

.

i love this liddol dumpling

[fastandcarlos]

Halfway Round The World For You : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: as the two of you find long distance harder, max comes up with a solution that might just solve your problem of being so far away

A groan came from you as once again your call went unanswered, the beep of Max’s answerphone your usual greeting. You looked down at your watch again, sure that he would be awake as you quickly did the maths to figure out the current time difference between you both again. 

Whilst he was getting himself ready for the day, you were ready to see the end of it. As usual, there was one final thing that you needed to do before falling asleep, and that was to speak to Max and catch up. 

Mostly, he agreed to do it as it was his way of checking up on you. When you were so far away from him whilst he was racing, he worried about you. Were you resting? Eating? Not getting stressed at work? He never really knew the answer unless he called you and got to see for himself. 

As you were about to give up, your phone rang, making you jump. You glanced across, quickly picking up. “Hi love.” 

“Hi, I thought you were too busy for me today.” 

“Don’t be silly,” Max grinned, adjusting his phone so that you could see his face. 

Your smile turned up as you sat your phone down on your bedside table to free your hands up. As you glanced at Max though, his usual smile wasn’t there, replaced by a frown that had you worrying. 

“How’s everything going? Are you all ready for the race this weekend?” You quizzed, excited to see Max back behind the wheel for the start of the new season. 

His head nodded, with hardly any expression on his face. “The car is alright, but I’m not exactly confident.” 

His voice sounded dejected, the passion that Max usually spoke about work with had gone. He brushed his hand through his hair as he let go of a sigh which you just about managed to hear. 

“What’s going on Max?” You asked him, “and don’t say nothing, because I know you too well.” 

His heart sunk as his eyes met yours on the screen, noticing just how concerned you were. Although he was halfway around the world, you knew him like the back of your hand, picking up on all the signs that things weren’t right. 

“It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I managed to spend most of the off season with you and I’m already missing you. I just know I’m probably not going to be able to spend any proper time with you again until summer break,” Max confessed. 

You smiled weakly as he spoke, “I’ll still come to most of your races Max, and when I can I’ll fly out to Monaco to see you, you know we always make it work.” 

“But I’m fed up of having to make it work, this isn’t how I want it to be forever, I’m so fed up of this long-distance thing.” 

You didn’t know what to say as Max’s eyes looked down from the phone, staring down at the ground. You could tell this was something that had been troubling Max for some time as he finally offloaded on you. You gave yourself a moment before responding, trying your best to figure out the right thing to say, not wanting to make Max feel any worse than he already did. 

“It’s not going to be like this forever.” 

Max wanted to believe you, but he just wasn’t sure. It had been two years of back and forth between you both, and it wasn’t getting any easier. If anything, Max found it harder, he wanted to spend more time with you, but he just couldn’t. 

“I wish you could be with me, permanently,” Max confessed. “It’s so strange how weird everything feels without you by my side. All the little things, like how we were constantly bumping into each other trying to move around your flat.” 

“I miss it too,” you assured, staring around your empty flat. “But you’ve got work, another world championship to win, and I don’t have the money to be able to fly out with you every weekend, or ever afford a place in Monaco.” 

Your words caught Max’s attention for a moment as he let go of a hum. You could tell by the way his eyes narrowed that Max was thinking about something, studying him closely as you tried to figure out what exactly was going through his head. 

Max knew that Monaco was an expensive place, and not somewhere that you wouldn’t be able to stay by himself, but that didn’t mean that it was somewhere that you could rule out, not completely anyway. 

“What about if we did something about that? What if Monaco wasn’t a place where you had to live all by yourself?” Max asked you, watching as you looked at him in confusion. 

“What are you trying to say Max?” You enquired. 

The way his smile turned up had you worrying, you knew that Max had plenty of crazy ideas, dreading to think what sort of master plan he had come up with this time. 

“I’m saying why don’t you move to Monaco, but come and stay with me. You spent most of the summer with me anyway, and work would allow you to stay there,” Max encouraged. “Even if I’m still racing, it means each time I’m home we can spend time together.” 

You went to speak, but your voice faltered, struggling to believe what you’d heard. “That’s a huge move,” you whispered, “Monaco isn’t exactly next door, it’s thousands of miles away.” 

“But it’s where I am love.” 

Your head nodded, you knew that Max had a point, but moving wasn’t an easy thing. There would be plenty of things that you’d have to leave behind, uncertain as to whether that was something that you could do. 

“It’s a huge thing Max.” 

“I know,” he frowned, worried that he had put his foot in it. “I’m not saying you need to make a decision now; I just thought it would be nice for us to be together properly. 

Max was beginning to regret his offer as he noticed the panic in your eyes. You didn’t know what you wanted, you loved your home, but you loved Max too. It was a huge sacrifice, and although you loved visiting Monaco, was it the place that you wanted to live forever? 

“You don’t need to agree, or disagree now,” Max insisted, “I’m not saying you’d have to move permanently either. But if you did move to Monaco, I’d help you every step of the way. Moving, sorting work out, finding things for you to do, I’d do whatever it took. The thought of having you there every morning though is like a dream.” 

Your hands ran through your hair, your heart racing as you overthought everything. Every possible situation, good and bad, suddenly seemed to rush through your mind as fast as a race car. 

“Can you just say something? Anything?” Max whimpered. 

Your eyes slowly flickered up to look at the screen again, your heart aching as you looked at Max, knowing that he was so far away from you. 

“I’d love to move to Monaco,” you told him, much to his relief. “It’s not going to be an easy move, but you’re right, we can’t carry on like this forever Max.” 

“Really? And you’re absolutely sure?” Max asked, wanting to double check. 

Your head nodded, sure in your heart that Monaco was the perfect place for you. “If it’s where you are, then it’s where I want to be too.” 

“You’ve got no idea how happy you’ve just made me,” Max chuckled, “I love you, I can’t wait to have you with me, to finally make my place a home for the both of us.” 

“I love you too, Max.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[carpe-mamilia]

I thought this was a gorgeous photo so I followed the source link to this great interview with the photographer, rural street photographer Kate Kirkwood. There are many more lovely examples of her work there but this answer particularly stood out to me:

How do you define street photography?   Perhaps many genres can be “street” if you don’t determine what you’re going to shoot before hand. A few years ago I had the experience of seeing the best photographic exhibition in my life; was a huge show of Henri Cartier-Bresson’s work. I was immediately afflicted, I wanted to try this art, street photography, too.  But where I live, I see the postman once a day and sometimes I don’t see anyone else for days. When I go to the city, the best treat is to simply wander the streets. However, because I live out in a rural area, I enjoy what I have, approaching moments and unfolding spaces in rural spaces with the mindset of a street photographer, even though I don’t live in a place with people. I suppose I try for a kind of rural street photography, although I’m also trying to find fresh ways with the possibilities of landscape photography.

Street photography requires an abandoned sense of wonderment, an openness. But you can’t just click away and assume that the act in itself will muster up an image. It’s so rare; it’s that little crucial moment that I think might be symbolized by the way Cartier-Bresson used to pop up on his tippy toes as he pressed the shutter. Seldom, if ever, can I claim to have snaffled what Roland Barthe’s calls ‘punctum’. Street photography offers a kind of slow accretion of modest wisdom. The more you photograph, the keener your observation, the more you notice about the world … perhaps you grow a little wiser each time because you’re in a state of watching out.

Decades ago I was involved with an anti-apartheid publishing house my then husband ran and some of the ground-breaking young photographers of that time in Johannesburg had a dark room at the back of the place and they offered my first understanding of what documentary photography is about. I often consider and puzzle over the difference between documentary and street photography. Documentary photography has a responsibility while street photography doesn’t. Yet it tells a lot of truths. Street brings attention to our foibles and reminds us of delight. It’s lovely to go to exhibitions of street photographers you know and see the public responding to the delight in everyday life.  It’s like enhancing all the little things that happen when we don’t have our cameras.

I’m not so keen on street photography which is malicious, grossly intrusive or that pokes fun at vulnerable people. I prefer and enjoy photographs which are taken with a kind of tenderness and respect. This is a tricky differentiation; I enjoy much of Martin Parr’s work and he’s a great one at poking fun, of celebrating our ludicrious possibilities. Perhaps it should be celebratory rather than derisory, although I strongly believe we should always deride misused or misplaced power…

[alchemistc]

Part One

Oh, I've got plenty to be thankful for

I've got eyes to see with

Ears to hear with

Arms to hug with

Lips to kiss with

Someone to adore

-bing crosby

He keeps waiting for someone to say something. To accuse him of lingering where he doesn't belong, or remind him he'd never actually made it all the way in. To tell him to go home, maybe get a halfhearted promise to let him know how Buck is at some point.

Maddie lays an exhausted head on his shoulder and Bobby sneaks him a slice of pumpkin pie he's apparently been hiding in the tote at his feet. Hen tosses him a power bank with a lightning cord and Karen makes a joke about his holiday attire.

When the coffee comes, Howie takes the trip to the lobby with him, pulls out his wallet and does his damnedest to strong arm Tommy into letting him tip the haggard looking girl another twenty bucks on top of the fifty Tommy'd figured was appropriate for having to balance a literal stack of hot beverages from the parking lot on Thanksgiving. She eyes them both with a smile and Tommy is more compelled the grab the drink carriers from her tired arms than stop Howie.

They're halfway back when Howie purposely slows his pace, and Tommy fights the urge to pick his up and avoid whatever's coming down on him. "So. Was this the wake up call you needed, or can I expect Buck to order a freezer on a Black Friday deal for my garage to store more baked goods?"

He doesn't know what that means.

He can extrapolate, though. "He's been baking?"

"Tommy, I cannot stress enough exactly how much he's been baking."

He'd tried his hand at a few things here and there, but Tommy's used to experimental chef Evan Buckley, not baking Evan Buckley. To be fair, if he'd seen Evan working a KitchenAid, apron tied loose and flour on a cheekbone, Tommy doubts he'd have actually had the time to finish whatever he had planned. That was then, of course.

"What was he doing on that trail, Howie?" That, too, he could maybe extrapolate. He doesn't want to, but he could.

Howie eyes him. Uses his free arm to elbow Tommy in the ribs. "You were the first person he ever invited to a 118 Thanksgiving, you know. My guess? He wasn't in the mood to be reminded of it while there was no room in the oven to bake away his feelings."

Yeah.

Jax had been over the moon when Tommy offered to take his shift, no trades necessary. What would the point have been, when Christmas and New Year's would be unbooked too?

Evan had bribed like six different people to ensure they'd be able to swing dinner on the day. Hobbes had sounded so thrilled to hear Tommy asking for the time off that he'd approved it without even looking at the shift.

"I'm just warning you in advance. The grovelling process is gonna involve eating your weight in loaves, most likely."

And that's that, apparently. No heavy handed warnings, no suspicion about why Tommy hasn't fucked off yet. Like it's some foregone conclusion that Tommy's not gonna panic and bolt a second time. Nothing has changed, yet Tommy gets the feeling they're all expecting some tearful reunion and a return to TommyandBuck.

Tommy slips the tea into Maddie's hands and watches her sniff it in distaste, which is an interesting nugget he'll have to revisit later if -

If.

There's no guarantees, here. That Tommy will be able to articulate how fucking terrified he is, that Evan will understand it. That the two of them will find a way through it together. All he has to go on is a solo hike on a day Evan should have been with family, an apparent bakery full of feelings spread between the 118, and the quiet calm that had washed over him when Eddie prompted him to make a decision.

Feet to the fire, he'd stayed.

---

Maddie's pregnant. It hits him between the eyes right around hour three of sit-and-wait. He's not an idiot, or a fool, and he hasn't spoken to any of these people in weeks so he's not going to announce it to the world, but somewhere in between the sporadic naps on Tommy's shoulder and the way she is attempting (failing) to power through her now cold tea makes him think. She and Bobby had driven here, and it's clear everyone else had been indulging. Maddie's no lush, but he's seen her knock back half a bottle of wine before when she's got nowhere to be.

She excuses herself to the bathroom for a third time, looking a little green, and Tommy ends up locked in a staring contest with Howie that only ends when Tommy mimes zipping his lips.

He still hasn't gotten the story about Eddie and why he's not here.

Bobby and Athena are apparently closing in on a new house.

Howie is less than a year away from having a second kid.

Athena's kids are apparently at Howie and Maddie's, attempting to keep Mara and Jee from destroying the house in the absence of adults.

And Tommy wants.

Wanting has never really been the problem, though. Wanting is the easy part. Wanting doesn't get him over the hurdle of knowing he's not enough. For Evan, for this family he's built that just keeps growing bigger and bigger. It'd been a relief, those first few days after, not to have to wonder which member of the 118 would land in the hospital next, not to have to rearrange something else on his schedule because Evan was convinced he was cursed, or Eddie'd had another shitty call with Christopher.

The relief hadn't lasted. A week in, he'd stayed up all night demolishing the half-bath off his dining room, because he'd been putting it off for months and he'd nearly texted Evan something that was startlingly revealing and left him exposed on all sides. Two weeks in he'd finished grouting the backsplash in his kitchen. And in between, he wondered how Eddie was doing, if he'd made any progress with his son. He'd wondered if Maddie enjoyed the bottle of wine they'd brought back from a spur of the moment trip to Napa. He'd wondered how Nash was doing, if he was readjusting to having his crew and his station back. He wondered how Hen and Karen were, how many things Denny had already gotten stuck in his cast trying to ease an itch.

He'd wondered, and he'd sat in it, and then he'd rewired the shoddy work an electrician had done in his spare room that he kept telling himself he'd get around to.

The wanting never goes away. He just finds new places to put it when he starts to care too much.

"Kinard and Buckley?"

Maddie's still in the restroom. Tommy - has no fucking clue why the nurse is staring at them like they'll just materialize the right people. She sucks in her lips and gives him a dead eyed stare before her eyes dart to his chest. More specifically, the nameplate on his chest.

Tommy blinks.

---

The having is where he's always floundered. Things are temporary. People are temporary. He's always been borrowing. Borrowing time, attention, affection.

For a few months there, he'd really started to think he could handle the having. That he'd get to keep it.

---

"I'm Buckley, he's Kinard," Maddie says from somewhere over his left shoulder, and he turns in time to see her adjusting her jacket, wiping at her lip. She stabilizes, looking unfazed, and stands tall. As tall as she can, at least. "You have news about my brother?"

The nurse glances around the room. No one is bothering to pretend not to be listening. Maddie hovers a wave behind her.

"Ignore the audience, we're all waiting with bated breath to see how obnoxious my brothers going to be. It depends entirely on whether or not he gets pie tonight."

She gives them all a disapproving look. This must not be one of their normal nurses.

Christ. They have normal nurses.

"Well, no pie tonight, but he should be able to eat a sandwich in the morning."

He's fine. He's fine.

Tommy knew going in that most of his injuries were superficial. The ribs had been a concern but with the pain meds and the collar he hadn't really had a chance to exacerbate those injuries. There's no reason he should feel quite so relieved to know that Evan will have a few annoying splints to work around and he'll probably need to rehab his ankle for a couple weeks once it's healed. The concussion isn't ideal, and he'll need help for a few days, but he's fine.

Tommy can feel the tears building.

"He'll likely be out for a few more hours, but I'll let you know when he's set up in a room. Two visitors at a time," she warns. "The concussion will effect his response time. Don't be surprised if he doesn't remember much, loses his train of thought."

Hen shifts somewhere behind him. It feels a bit like she's being held back from correcting the nurse about the normal side effects.

Things move on around him. The nurse leaves, Hen passes a Stanley cup around that definitely isn't filled with water, the normal sigh of relief is released while Maddie drops into the seat next to him with a groan, the team has a strange competition around him to battle for visitor position.

Tommy breathes.

I should go, Tommy thinks to himself, as half the people in the room raise their phones.

His own phone vibrates against his thigh.

A message from Howie, time stamped two minutes - Tommy squints to make sure - two minutes ago, an update on Evan. Another from Eddie reminding them all to give Buck a patent Eddie look from him while they were giving him shit. A selfie of Eddie, with Christopher somewhat reluctantly bending into the picture over his shoulder.

In another thread, he's got three messages from Eddie.

If I have to remove you from this group I'm sending my kid after you with his crutches.

You guys hiked Griffith Park for your Not-A-One-Month-Anniversary-We-Swear date, right?

Send Buck my love. Not like that, though.

Tommy sends back: When the fuck did he add me to his emergency contacts? and then decides he doesn't want to know anyway so he turns off his phone.

---

Maddie goes alone, and Tommy spends the time alternating between tapping his foot against the tile to distraction, and clamping his hand over his knee in an attempt to stop the tapping.

Bobby and Athena go next, then Hen and Karen. Then they're pulling on jackets and promising to save a plate for Buck.

Howie slips away for a few minutes and then returns, looking amused. "You think everyone else got the same greeting?" he asks his wife, who grins tiredly at him, pats his wrist. Her gaze turns to Tommy.

"Should we stay?"

That's a trap of a question. That's an assumption Tommy doesn't have a clue how to handle. He clears his throat. Shakes a few curls loose.

"What makes you think he'd want me to?"

Maddie's perfected the unimpressed eyebrow. It must be a parent thing.

Tommy barely holds in the sigh. "Go enjoy your meal."

---

Evan's been watching the door. It's clear the moment Tommy makes it to the threshold - he presses up, winces, tips sideways just enough to peek around the corner.

"Tommy," he says, and his expression melts.

Tommy's heard some iteration of that name a million times. Tom, from his dad. Tommy, fond and quiet from his mother, who'd never really learned how to speak up before she was gone. Thomas, in school, from teachers annoyed that he wouldn't just apply himself.

He was Kinard, to teammates, then fellow soldiers, to the firefighters he'd worked alongside for a decade before he ever let any of them know him.

No one says his name with quite so much reverence as Evan Buckley. He's convinced himself, over the last few weeks, that he'd been hearing adulation in that tone. But now it just sounds...relieved. Happy.

Evan slumps back and tries to cross his arms in a pout. There are too many cords and wires attached to him for it to work. "I'm pretty sure I'm mad at you," he says, and Tommy steps over the threshold.

---

Hobbes sounds fucking thrilled to find out he's going to be down a pilot for five days.

Evan throws a fit when he finds out Tommy's plan is to sleep on his own couch for the short duration of Evan's stay. Evan wins the proceeding argument and doesn't even complain that Tommy hadn't argued too hard

Bobby brings over enough leftovers to keep them in turkey sandwiches for a week, and Tommy doesn't think to ask how he got Tommy's address.

Tommy breathes. Tommy thinks. Once Evan can hold a train of thought for more than five minutes, Tommy talks.

Evan listens.

---

"So no Christmas," Evan pouts, and Tommy wants to bite it. "And no New Year's."

Tommy shifts a hand over his shoulder, tucks his chin over top of it so he can't see the pout anymore. "We were both already working those anyway."

"Do people do anything to celebrate Presidents Day?"

"Evan."

"Tommy," Evan mocks, and pulls far enough away to catch his gaze. "In the interest of transparency that was mostly a cover so I didn't ask about Valentine's Day."

"Is this you not asking about Valentine's Day?"

His smile is deceptively sweet. "I need help with my sandwich."

Tommy's seen him balancing a glass of water, his phone, two books and a takeout bag in his one good hand. He's absolutely full of shit.

Tommy leans forward to grab the sandwich off Evan's plate for him.

---

"You should stay," Tommy says, an hour after midnight two days into the new year. He's tipsy on his second glass of cheap champagne and he can't think of a reason to keep this in, anymore. Evan crinkles a brow at him.

"I... wasn't planning to go?"

There's a gold crown perched in his curls, and Tommy still hasn't taken the cheap plastic 2025 glasses off. The house is quiet, and there'd been shockingly few fires started by fireworks this year, so he's less tired than he'd expected to be.

"I meant -." Tommy starts, and then pauses. "I meant permanently. You should live here."

Evan laughs. Takes a bite out of his cake, and rolls his eyes, and then...stops. His entire body stills. "What."

It's ridiculous. The very thing that had pushed Tommy up out of his seat just a few months ago, sent him out the loft door with wet eyes and a heaviness in his heart.

"Tommy," Evan prompts, and Tommy catches the hand frozen on the countertop. He'd planned to hold this back, wait until something significant or poignant. But Evan had baked them a red velvet cake and argued with him the entire drive back from dinner about the proper way to fold a towel, and Tommy's tired of denying this isn't everything he's refused to let himself want for decades.

"You don't have to say yes just to confirm you're not breaking up with me," he tries to joke, and it falls flat.

"Tommy," Evan murmurs, quieter but more insistent.

"I'm serious. I want you here. I want -."

"Yes," Evan says, and squeezes his hand before he ducks his head bashfully. "Sorry. Continue."

"I want a life with you." The tears tickle at the back of his throat. He's gonna fucking cry, again. He'd always fucking known opening himself up to this was just an invitation for more tears in his life.

He can't quite convince himself the rest doesn't make them worth it.

"Yes. Again. Tommy, of course." He tips his chin. Purses his lips. "If you're sure."

Tommy swallows down the lump in his throat. He's never been more sure or more terrified of anything in his life. So he tells him so.

The words are like knives, but he works his way through the soreness, fights up past the fear that he's not sure will ever completely go away, and claws past the reminder that it's been a blink of an eye since Tommy walked out on this.

"Well. You can't walk out of your own house," Evan points out when he's finished, and of all things, it's that that snaps the tension of for once in his life prioritizing something other than fucking survival. He tips a grin, curls his elbow to bring their entwined hands to his lips. "It's gonna take years to coordinate another Thanksgiving with everyone," he bemoans, looking suspiciously watery-eyed himself as he holds Tommy's own wet gaze.

Tommy can extrapolate from that.

[rue-isabelle]

Aphrodite of Formula 1, Part 3

The paddock was no longer just a workplace—it was a battlefield of emotions. Yn’s calm demeanor and kindhearted nature had captured the hearts of every man on the grid, single or taken. She had no idea about the storm of feelings she left in her wake, but the tension between the drivers was palpable.

And with the bombshell news that Lewis would be leaving Mercedes for Ferrari, the frenzy only escalated.

Lewis

Lewis waited for Yn outside the hospitality area, leaning casually against the wall. When she appeared, juggling her tablet and several papers, he stepped forward, his warm smile catching her attention.

“Yn,” he said smoothly, “do you have a minute?”

“For you? Always,” she replied with a smile.

He guided her to a quieter corner, his hand resting gently on the small of her back. “Listen, I’ve got something important to talk about. You’ve heard the news, right?”

She nodded. “You’re going to Ferrari. Congratulations, Lewis. They’re lucky to have you.”

“They’d be even luckier if you came with me,” he said, his voice dropping to a near whisper.

Yn blinked, stunned. “Me? At Ferrari?”

He smiled, placing both hands gently on her waist, his thumbs brushing lightly against her sides. “You’re the best at what you do. And I’d feel a whole lot better knowing I had you on my team.”

“Lewis, I—”

“Shh,” he interrupted, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “Think about it.” His hands squeezed her waist tighter before letting go.

Before she could reply, he stepped back, his gaze intense. “No pressure,” he added, though his expression suggested otherwise.

Yn’s heart raced as she watched him walk away, his confidence leaving her breathless.

Lando

Lando couldn’t get through a single day without seeing Yn. Her presence had become a necessity, a fix he craved. But as her job kept her moving constantly, he needed to ensure they “coincidentally” crossed paths.

That’s where the AirTags came in.

Yn had no idea that nearly every item she owned—a handbag, a water bottle, even her laptop case—had a discreet tracker hidden inside, courtesy of Lando.

“Yn!” Lando exclaimed, rounding a corner with perfect timing as she exited a meeting. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”

She laughed. “Hi, Lando. What a surprise.”

“It’s fate,” he said, grinning.

He casually walked with her, keeping the conversation light, but his heart raced as he basked in her attention.

At night, Lando’s obsession took on a different form. In his bedroom, one wall was entirely dedicated to her. Photos of Yn smiling, laughing, working—captured both candidly and from afar—covered every inch.

One evening, his trainer stopped by unexpectedly.

“Lando,” he began, trailing off when he noticed the wall. “Mate, what the hell is this?”

Lando turned, unfazed. “Art,” he replied simply, his eyes fixed on one particular photo of Yn.

Franco

Franco had a different tactic: he showered Yn with affection and introduced her to the richness of his culture. He found her during lunch and waved her over to his table, where he’d set up a spread of traditional Argentine dishes.

“What’s all this?” Yn asked, her eyes lighting up.

“This,” Franco said with a charming smile, “is a little piece of Argentina. Sit, sit.”

She sat, and Franco immediately began serving her, explaining each dish with pride. “This is empanada criolla, and this—ah, careful, it’s spicy—is chimichurri. You have to try it with this.”

He picked up a small piece of empanada and held it to her lips. “Here, taste.”

Yn hesitated but opened her mouth, allowing him to feed her.

“How is it?” he asked, his eyes locked on hers.

“Delicious,” she admitted, smiling.

Franco leaned closer, his lips kissing the corner of her lips. “You had some sauce here,” he murmured before kissing her again on the cheek, lingering there for a moment.

Yn’s cheeks turned pink. “Franco…”

“I’ll make you fall in love with Argentina,” he promised, his voice low. “And maybe… me too.”

Fernando

Fernando prided himself on being Yn’s rock. While the other drivers acted like lovesick teenagers, he was her guiding figure, the one she turned to for advice.

One evening, Yn found him in his motorhome, reviewing strategy notes.

“Fernando, do you have a minute?” she asked, poking her head in.

“For you? Always,” he replied, motioning for her to sit.

She explained her dilemma about a work decision, her voice tinged with uncertainty. Fernando listened intently, his hand resting on her knee to ground her.

“Yn,” he said softly, “you’re overthinking. Trust your instincts. They’ve never failed you.”

She nodded, her tension easing under his steady gaze.

As she stood to leave, Fernando reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face. “You’re too good for this chaos,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Those boys don’t deserve you.”

Yn laughed lightly. “You’re too protective.”

“Someone has to be,” he replied, his hand lingering on her shoulder as he guided her out.

---

The paddock had become a minefield of stolen glances, jealous stares, and escalating tensions. Each driver had his own way of vying for Yn’s attention, but none could truly claim her heart—not yet, anyway.

Yn, blissfully unaware of the storm she had created, continued her work with a smile, unknowingly leaving a trail of broken hearts and unspoken confessions in her wake.

The question wasn’t if she’d notice—it was when. And when she did, the paddock would never be the same.

Part 1. Part 2

[p0orbaby]

hii could I maybe request an alexia fic where you bring her to one of the german Christmas markets of your hometown and make her try different food and the famous mulled wine (just lots of fluff coziness pls 🥹) ale being a sucker for keeping your lips warm by kissing them

-

The Christmas market smells like sugar, spice, and the kind of nostalgia you wish you could bottle. String lights hang above in tangled webs, dripping amber light onto the cobblestone streets, while the air crackles with frost and the distant hum of Christmas carols played by a mediocre brass quartet.

You’ve barely stepped onto the main thoroughfare when Alexia stops, head tilted, taking it all in. Her cheeks are already pink from the cold, her gloved hands stuffed deep into her pockets.

“Is it always like this?” she asks, her accent curling softly around the words.

“Every year,” you reply. “Wait until you see the giant bratwurst stand”

Her lips quirk up at the corner. “You’re really selling it”

“Trust me, it’s iconic”

You lead her through the crowd, weaving between parents tugging kids in sledges and couples huddling close, their breath fogging in the chill. Alexia keeps her hand on the small of your back, steering you instinctively around every wayward shoulder and rogue pram. You’d find it annoying if it wasn’t so her.

The bratwurst stand is as dramatic as promised: a hulking structure with smoke pouring out of its chimney and a six-foot inflatable sausage bobbing on the roof. Alexia stares at it for a long moment, then turns to you, deadpan.

“Iconic,” she repeats, though her mouth twitches with barely restrained laughter.

You grin, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the line. “Wait until you taste it”

When she takes her first bite, she moans softly, her eyes fluttering shut. “Okay. You win”

“I always do,” you say, smug.

She rolls her eyes but doesn’t argue, too busy devouring the rest of her bratwurst.

Next is the mulled wine. You hand her a steaming mug, the scent of cloves and citrus wafting up. She blows on it delicately, watching the tendrils of steam curl away. When she takes her first sip, her eyes widen, and she licks her lips.

“This is…” she pauses, searching for the word. “Perfect”

You take a sip of your own, the warmth sliding down your throat, and hum in agreement.

She leans in then, her lips brushing your ear. “Your lips are cold.”

You glance at her, eyebrow raised. “Subtle”

Alexia shrugs, utterly unbothered. “I’m keeping them warm”

Before you can respond, she kisses you. It’s soft, lingering, the taste of mulled wine and bratwurst mingling in a way that shouldn’t work but somehow does. When she pulls back, she looks entirely too pleased with herself.

“You’re ridiculous,” you mutter, though you can’t help smiling.

“And you love it,” she replies, stealing another sip of your wine.

The rest of the evening is a blur of lights and laughter. You make her try roasted chestnuts (“Like warm, edible rocks,” she declares) and Schmalzkuchen, the powdered sugar leaving smudges on her scarf. She insists on buying a ridiculous hand-carved ornament for your tree—a lopsided angel with one wing noticeably shorter than the other.

By the time you leave, your cheeks hurt from smiling, your hands are frozen despite your gloves, and Alexia has kissed you approximately ten more times under the guise of “keeping your lips warm.”

[monsterfucker-lisa-swallows]

You know what as someone formerly from purity culture let me respond

I am sure if you go back ten years on my blog you'll find old posts about how sex scenes don't belong in movies. I was young, dumb, and raised by Christian nationists. I'm also somewhere on the ace spectrum and autistic so yes I was seeing things in absolutes because I was 15 and that's how I was raised.

My stepdad was also a groomer.

A straight male who was Christian sexually abused my sister. He showed us movies that were not pornographic but were definitely not appropriate and I remember feeling extremely uncomfortable. But instead of thinking "I'm not ready for this and something about this scenario is making me uncomfortable" I thought "this thing shouldn't exist."

I've come around full circle now. I recognize that the presence of sex in a movie does not have any real moral weight to it. Often sex scenes are very informative for plot and characterization. (For instance, in some of my fiction involving alternate universes you can tell the difference between the mental states of the different versions of the main character by how and when they engage in such activities because that's part of the commentary.)

It now makes me so unbelievably frustrated when people refuse to watch anything sexual. I've met baby aces who refuse to watch anything except cartoons meant for children. (This person told me in person out loud with her mouth that she won't watch anything for adults because it's perverted.) And I've met people who say Jennifer's Body is too sexual so they won't finish it. (Back when it came out it was criticized for not being sexual enough? Which is it???) People with these mentalities miss out on incredible works of fiction and miss broadening their horizons by challenging themselves. They miss out on very valuable commentary about the society we live in. Sometimes stories will make you uncomfortable. Sometimes that's the point. Sex is just a thing that some humans do, it's not this horrible thing purity culture makes it out to be

it's true and you should say it.

[despressoslatte]

not the zoey you wanted (one)

pairing: zach maclaren x female reader!

summary: you waited all weekend for your boyfriend, Zach, to call or text, anything, to explain why he had just went and ghosted you when you were supposed to go with him on a family ski trip to meet his parents, his sister Avery, and his cousin, Miles.

content warnings: angst; victims of catfishing; miscommunication trope

masterlist

Ten minutes late, not a big deal. 

Fifteen minutes late, but it’s okay, because maybe it took longer than he thought to find a book on Battletoads for Avery. Maybe his bike tires got a flat. You told him it would’ve been faster if he had just taken your car, but he insisted on taking his bike to get in a quick workout. What a jock response, you had laughed at him for it.

Thirty minutes late. Okay, you were starting to worry, picking up your phone every couple of seconds to see if there was any texts, calls, any form of update from him. You type out a quick, ‘Are you on your way?’ and press send.

Nothing. You flipped your phone down on the table, tapping on your thighs as you tried not to think of the worst case scenarios.

Forty five minutes late. You flipped your phone back to face you, a soft, sad smile on your face at Zach’s face on your lockscreen. A frown etched itself into your features when you saw no messages.

You pressed the call button by his name, and it went straight to voicemail. Weird. Was his phone dead? Did he fall asleep and kept his phone off? All the possibilities swirled in your head, wondering, contemplating, worrying. 

ᯓ⟢

Apparently, it was known to all of the above. You had gone by his dorm to see that he was gone, his roommate saying he had already come by with his parents to get his overnight bag.

“Yeah, Y/N, he said he was going on the ski trip with his folks and his girlfriend…” his roommate trailed off, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at you.

The confusion between the two of you was ear shattering. You were Zach’s girlfriend, so why the hell are you not with Zach going on this ski trip with him and his folks?

You watched his roommates lips press into an awkward line, sympathy written in his eyes as he pushed his hands into his pockets.

“Sorry,” was all he was able to say.

You just nodded, looking away. “Thanks,” you mumbled, and hurried back to your dorm.

Was this Zach’s sick and twisted way of breaking up with you? You had gotten new snow gear just for this trip, all ready and packed back at your dorm. You had been ready for a while now, nervous and excited about meeting his family, like the two of you had planned. His parents had heard so much about you, according to Zach, and his little sister, Avery, wanted to play Battletoads with you, apparently. Zach’s cousin, Miles, was even joining since he was in town from MIT. 

You tried to think of all the things that could’ve gone wrong that you hadn’t even realized. You and Zach had been seeing each other for almost four months now, having met at the beginning of the semester when he needed help in his English Literature course to keep his grades up since it was soccer season.

Zach MacLaren was your college’s school soccer star, and you worked in the tutoring center that was specifically for college students, the SASS, for Student Athlete Support Services. While the tutor girl x jock trope is one of your favorites, dating back to the Naley days of One Tree Hill, there were no moments of chatter where he was annoying you in the guise of flirting or acting like he was too above it all.

Zach was a total sweetheart and the epitome of a lover boy. With a competitive streak and the type of banter that could only be described best as the kind that made it impossible to stop smiling as you tried to think of witty comebacks, dating Zach has felt as if it were quite literally, better than the movies.

If you two ever fought, it was those types of arguments couples were just bound to get into—stress induced irritation, differing opinions on non-deal breaking topics, learning to navigate the fact that you are two different and individual people who are trying to also learn how to be together as a unit.

That day specifically, you could not pinpoint anything you had done that could have upset Zach. You both got coffee that morning on campus before classes, gone through the checklist of things you needed to make sure you packed before he picked you up after classes and his trip to the bookstore near campus, and went on your merry ways. 

His family lived about two hours away from school. Even though it was only weeks away from finals and then, happily, the three-week winter/holiday break, his family wanted to go to a ski resort since the mountains had already gotten snow, and Zach’s cousin Miles was in town just for the weekend.

ᯓ⟢

You took it pretty hard that weekend, especially the way none of your texts got delivered and your calls kept going straight to voicemail. You debated over and over asking your mutual friends if they could get ahold of Zach for you, scared he had blocked you or something. But you didn’t want the humiliation of finding out you and Zach had broken up through mutual friends. 

You had to hear it from him. 

So, on Monday morning, around the time Zach had originally told you that you guys would be driving back in from the ski lodge since you two had to coordinate if you’d be missing any classes Monday, you parked your car in front of his parents’ house. You had their address from when his parents had mailed you a Thanksgiving family photo card a few weeks ago. Luckily for you, you kept every letter ever sent to you in a box, so you still had the envelope it came in, even if the photo itself was attached to your fridge back on via magnet.

You watched as cars drove past the street, wishing you and Zach looking for Zach’s parents. You never met them, not even through FaceTime, but you had seen photos of them on Zach’s Instagram. Somehow, fate never linked up that you would meet them at his games. You tried to go to all of them, but you still worked at the tutoring center, so sometimes, your tutoring sessions collided with his game schedule. 

Since it was a two hour drive from his hometown, his parents usually watched the livestream of the games, but tried to make a few. It was never the ones you were at. For Thanksgiving, you had flown all the way back home to your own hometown, so another missed opportunity to meet them.

He hadn’t posted anything from the ski trip, you felt too awkward if you went and followed Miles, who was private. You felt embarrassed that you were even checking Miles’ instagram for any glance of your boyfriend, anyways. And maybe even more embarrassed when you checked to see if either of his parents had an Instagram—they don’t—or if Avery, as young as she was, had one. She did, but it was private. Smart girl.

When their car finally pulled into the driveway, you waited until they all started to pile out of the car to get out of yours. But you paused from across the street, blinking rapidly as a girl got out of the middle row with Zach and Miles. 

You knew her. Zoey Miller. Your name was Y/N Zoey L/N, with a bunch of your old high school friends calling you “Zoey” as a habit from when you didn’t want to go by your first name. Since starting college, you’d slowly gotten back into the habit of using your real first name. However, here had been a few times where you’d hear “Zoey” called out in a shared class with her, and turn when they meant her and not you.

Zach even called you “Zoey” a few times, after a FaceTime call he had with your best friend who told him if he didn’t take care of you, she’d come fly in to beat him personally. He laughed off the threat, promising he’d gladly let her, if the situation that would never ever occur on his watch, did somehow occur.

Since when were they even friends? Not that you needed to know all of his friends, but you did somehow know most of them. You didn’t think Zoey Miller was on that list. And then you saw him put his arm around her.

So, you walk up the driveway, calling out Zach’s name softly but loud enough you could be heard, your heart pounding in your ear as you took a nervous breath. Was this it? Were you two really over? You needed to know. You watch as he, his entire family, and Zoey all turn around to look at you. And the next few moments take you for a trip. It was all a bit of a blur, like you weren’t quite sure if you were really experiencing the moment or not.

Someone had asked who you were. You saw Zach look at you like he had never seen you before. Were you really that unimportant?

“I…” you breathe out as you try to gather the words. “I’m Zach’s girlfriend.”

His eyes furrowed at you, mouth slightly ajar. You’ve seen that confused look on his face before, like when you’d ask him discussion questions on a book he hadn’t fully read when he should have during tutoring.

“No, that’s Zach’s girlfriend,” you think it was his mom who said it, though you weren’t looking at anyone but Zach.

It was hard to stomach the way he was looking at you like you were a stranger. You suck in a painful breath when you heard he had a different girlfriend. What was with this guy and girls with Zoey in their name, anyways?

“Oh,” you breathe out, whispering your words. “I see.”

You look to Zoey Miller, seeing the remorse in her eyes. Had she had know Zach never actually broke up with you? Is that why she looked so guilty.

You look at Zach, trying to bite your tongue back. But a bitter, “Thanks for telling me first,” fell from your lips with a scoff. 

And despite the fact you came there to hear it from Zach’s lips personally, you were sure you’d start crying in front of his parents, his sister, his favorite cousin, and his new girlfriend, and that embarrassment felt worse than not getting the answers or closure you needed. Maybe you’d just give him an earful when you’d eventually need to go to his dorm to give him back his shit you had and take your own back.And you turned around without waiting for any other answers, responses, anything. You practically ran back to your car, trying to start it up and get back on the road before you started to cry.

two >

[neuvilette-tea-party]

₊ ˙ ⊹Steb x F!reader₊ ˙ ⊹

Headcanons Pre-Relationship SFW

I came to realize this format is for shorter stories? But I am an idiot and I cannot stop writing about best boy!

Request open for Best boy Steb <3

As a junior Medic, Steb is your mentor. He silently, but patiently, teaches you. 

Trains with you every day, with a scalpel or boxing gloves. 

Steb is a really good boxer and even better with batons, while you excel in Judo. 

You live life at his pace when you are in the barracks, eating when he eats, training when he trains, sleeping when he sleeps, practicing medicine when he decides it is time to teach you... You become his shadow. 

You practice incisions and stitching wounds on a dummy under his impartial but merciless gaze. He has an unconventional approach to the job himself, but no defective stitches escape his eyes. He asks you to start over each time he finds one, and even if he is instransigent he never refuse to helps, showing you an easier method or a quicker trick.  

You get better and better every day and he appears pleased with you, congratulating you with a nod and a pat on the shoulder. 

When you’re lucky you go on Patrol with him and Maddie, when you are extra lucky only him. But most of the time you are partnered with someone else and you cannot wait to come back to the barracks to train with Steb again! 

He is dead silent but extremely expressive when he wants to be. You learned to decipher every throat muscle contraction, every side eye, every blink, if he uses his third eyelids or not... Every infinitesimal facial twist speaks louder than any word he could say and you’ve gone pro at decoding every single one of them. 

Maddie gets crazy when you have an entire silent conversation with Steb with only raised eyebrows, head tilts, and nods during work. Loris just laughs his ass off at her getting more and more exasperated. 

Steb shows you all the little tricks he learned on the spot and in dire situations, what truly makes the difference between life and death under gunshots, things you do not learn in books or on a dummy. 

He had to stitch some of your wounds after an intense training session, making him softly grin while you sighed deeply, a little bit embarrassed to be so careless. 

You did not know if it was appropriate to eat fish in his presence at first, so you did not. 

He ever so slowly relaxes around you, letting you see his less stoic side from time to time. This is a rarity tho. 

Your unit as a game: the first one to assemble his weapon blindfolded, wins. Steb always beats you with the riffle but you win with the revolver. Loris beats everyone with every weapon. 

Steb keeps you under his wing for months, keeping you company during breaks, playing cards with you, watching movies late at night in the break room, arm wrestling with you when you feel feisty, he cannot beat you to billiards tho but he is good sport. Each days at the barracks you are attached to the hips, so much so that seeing one of you alone raises eyebrows. 

You earned the nickname “Mini-Steb” at the barracks for a time. You find it quite funny but Steb less so. He took the floor, a rarity, and asked your colleagues to respect your individuality and character. This was such a rare occurrence that everyone obeyed without a second word, while you looked at him with round eyes. 

He is a pretty good cook and handles spices at a higher level than any human, that’s why they put a rule in place for him not to spice the dishes himself, this is the only thing he cannot do in the kitchen, cause everyone would have a rough time. You love it when it is your turn to cook with him, Maddie finds it boring because he is even more non-verbal than usual but you love it, you try to match his pace and speed as best you can like a game. 

And because he looks pretty cute in an apron, you have to be honest. 

You discovered Steb had gills on his neck and his ribcage. You noticed the last ones when he took off his shirt during a training session to use the towel on his chest. You went immediately still at that view, completely shocked and hypnotized by that scene. You had to mentally slap yourself to manage to take your eyes off that... beautiful sight and you drank your entire bottle of water in one go, feeling incredibly parched out of a sudden. Maddies asked you why you did not finish your sentence but you could only wipe the sweat off your forehead, trying to make sense of your inner turmoil. 

Him who is usually so modest and rarely if never takes off layers in front of people... You were so unprepared but that sight! 

You both have your habits on patrol, you go to the same cafes, visit the same tea salon and always go to the same bar at the end of a shift. He always asks for a consomme while you change dishes each time. 

You notice that you spoke less and less yourself, mimicking your mentor, finding words more and more superfluous when you could just act on a matter. 

Steb baked you a cake for your birthday, without you having to remind him of the date. 

Excellent chess player, owns several books on different Chess masters that he reads religiously during breaks while also learning to play Go. He goes easy on you with other games but he will hand you your ass without any mercy with those two games. 

You learned he like to spend time in libraries and bookshops during his leaves and crossed paths with him on several occasions with his bag full of new books. 

Never took a puff of tobacco of any sort in his life and heavily avoids any smoking area. His eye twitched once when you revealed to him you tried weed once with friends in high school, but he remained silent, neither approving nor disapproving. 

Drinks alcohol only for big occasions and will limit himself to one glass only. 

Keeps his uniform immaculate, his helmet shiny and his weapons squicky clean. 

Good with cats and animals in general. Owned a bird in his childhood. 

Undisputed champion in the pool. Every once in a while someone thinks that they can outspeed him in water and is immediately proven wrong, but you get the occasion to play the cheerleader to support him each time, so you don’t complain. You handed him his towel when he got out of the pool, water trickling down his well-carved body and your eyes got lost for a second before so much skin, mouth slightly agape before such a spectacle. 

 You are Steb’s perfect assistant in mission, guessing his needs and demands in advance, handing him the correct tools without him having to ask to save your comrades’ or civilians’ lives. You move and think like a single being, creeping out Maddie. She told you you both look like possessed when you save lives together under fire like you were connected like a hivemind. You don't see her problem: you are saving lives! 

After each successful mission on the terrain, Steb pays you a drink, always wrapped in his usual mustism. You take an ale while he usually goes for iced tea or squach, making you giggle as you imagine the thought of the other patrons discovering a 6’1 ft  stern enforcer in full gear sipping sugary juice at the bar with a straw. 

But those drinks are between you and Steb only, between Mentor and Protege 

And maybe a bit more, you bust yourself hoping? 

One day Steb takes you aside in an empty room and hands you a piece of paper. Your official recommendation and aptitude certification to enter the Medic examination of the Enforcers. Signed by his hand. You look up at him with a gasp, full of hope. 

He grabs your shoulder, looking straight into your eyes. and nods with a tight smile. 

[jasvtsc]

just come kiss me and bite me

you were a vampire.

sure, it took some time for dean to get over it and deal with the fact that he fell in love with a bloodsucker.

was it against his morals and family values? absolutely.

did he give a shit? not at all.

and it’s not like you were a real vampire—well, you were in the matter of drinking blood. however, for some unknown reason, you reacted pretty badly to human blood. it made you sick, your throat burning, your fangs itching and your tongue swelling.

a vampire allergic to blood? yeah, pretty pathetic.

that’s why you could only drink blood from supernatural creatures—werewolves, witches, wendigos, hell even fairies. everything unusual and that had powers or whatever, was your dinner. so dating a hunter? a dream come true.

not only were you helpful, hunting down the threat with him but also you got your food intake. you weren’t harming anyone—just those who deserved it. and sure, maybe it was a bit hypocritical, a vamp going after its own kind but then again, you’d do anything to keep yourself alive.

however, there were times were you couldn’t help dean or you had to do something. so he came up with an idea that’d ensure you wouldn’t possibly starve to death.

he learned how to draw blood and now carrying a blood bags whenever he went, he’d take his time in an alley after killing a monster, getting as much protein for you as he could.

and honestly? you found it adorable.

today was no different from the others. you went back to the motel he was staying at after running some errands, and immediately made your way towards the bed, falling on the soft mattress with a sigh. dean watched you, noticing the way you looked even paler than usual, your slow blinking, and the way even your breathing was close to concerning. with a worried frown etched on his face, he helped you sit up on the bed, making you rest against the pillows, and then he grabbed a few blood bags out of the mini fridge.

“here. drink this, baby. it’ll make you feel better,” he said with a soft voice and a small smile, gently threading his fingers through your hair. you nodded and wrapped your lips around the straw, beginning to feed yourself.

dean watched you intently, and sure, he must’ve been disgusted by it, right?

wrong.

he knew there was probably something wrong with him and that he must’ve been insane, but he couldn’t help that he found you immensely attractive like that. not only, but he also got a massive boner as well.

there wasn’t a more beautiful sight to him than the one in front of his eyes right now. the way your skin was getting its less fair color back and the familiar sparkle in your eyes calmed his worries down. however, the way your lips were wrapped around the straw as you sucked, the way the blood trickled out from the corners of your mouth, going down your chin and throat to ultimately drip down between your breasts, and how your fangs were covered in crimson liquid, now in full display, as you let out a soft moan of pleasure with the prettiest blissed out expression he’d ever seen?

yeah, it was enough to make him cum in his pants.

he watched you intently as your chin was dripping with red, the way everything was falling on your slightly exposed chest. he licked his lips, absentmindedly palming his erected cock through the fabric of his jeans. he wanted to whimper because of how badly he wanted to bury himself inside of you right now, in hopes that you’d get that blood all over him.

you noticed him staring and quickly shied away. you turned around, your head tilted down as your hair covered your face—sometimes you felt ashamed that he had to see you like that. you had these thoughts that maybe he found you disgusting and in the end, you felt like you didn’t deserve him. he was too good for a bloodsucker like you. you were a monster—at least that’s what you thought.

as soon as dean noticed your attempt at hiding away from him, he blinked a few times and moved to kneel in front of you. he placed his hands on your knees, rubbing them soothingly with his thumbs, a loving smile on his face as he tried to look into your eyes.

“come on, don’t hide from me, baby. you don’t have to. you know that i love you. you’re my hungry little mosquito,” he chuckled as he moved your hair behind your ears, admiring your pretty face.

god, how could anyone say that you were an evil creature or a monster? you stared at him with those big eyes, looking so innocent despite the blood covering your chin and chest.

“you’re such a messy eater, sweetie,” he hummed, wiping the corner of your mouth with his thumb and letting you lick it clean. you put the bag away, now focusing on him.

and that only made him want you even more.

soon enough, he stood up and cupped your face, connecting your lips in a needy kiss. you widened your eyes at first and pulled back, trying to wipe the blood off of his mouth in panic.

“dean—”

“stop. you’re so hot right now,” he panted breathlessly, driven by desire. he grabbed your wrists and moved your hands away from his face, pinning you to the bed, and kissing you again.

he groaned into your mouth as you kissed him back, your hands wrapping around his neck to pull him closer. that was enough for him to start grinding his erection against your clothed core.

and in a matter of seconds, he was already thrusting into you, letting out a wave after wave of ungodly sounds, pathetically close to spilling his cum deep inside you.

[ruins-of-gods]

I've only been out on the plains a few times. I think the thing that overwhelms me about it isn't the size of the sky, as much as I love it. What overwhelms me is its complexity.

In the mountains, the sky is one thing. Maybe it's cloudy, or sunny, or overcast, maybe the wind is making the clouds into repeating shapes or the sunset is giving it all a gradient, but it's all roughly the same thing all the way across. And you get used to thinking of the sky like that. After all, the mountains don't block too much of it, you think. Surely the different cloud-castles, the way the light catches that one or pierces in beams through this, that's what the sky is. That's as much as it can be. Like a video game skybox.

And then you come into a place where the landscape doesn't form the weather - or rather, where the weather is the size of the landscape, and has room to breathe. And you can see ALL of it. You can watch storms in the distance crawling their way across the land - places where it's raining, raining for miles, but so far away from you. You can see the layers on layers of clouds above you, different weights, different varieties, mounting up and up until they reach the sun at the top of it all. The sky can be blue here and grey there and pinkish-gold over there, and all the colors in between, while the storms warp the cloud layers around themselves and the wispy cirrus clouds flutter like feathers in the wind far above anywhere the airplane contrails could reach. The sky moves, over the plains. It breathes. And when it's empty - on those rare occasions when there are no clouds, not even a haze to break up the endless blue - you realize just how small of a planet you live on, and just how fucking big things are above you.

I don't get how any of yall can live on flat prairie away from mountains and shit, there's roo much open sky and nowhere to hide, shit gives me anxiety. Feels like I'm gonna get carried away by a large bird